{"id":1048,"date":"2022-10-28T22:47:05","date_gmt":"2022-10-28T22:47:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/friscotimes.org\/?p=1048"},"modified":"2024-08-22T14:44:05","modified_gmt":"2024-08-22T14:44:05","slug":"jennifer-lopez-files-for-divorce-from-ben-affleck-after-just-two-years-what-are-your-divorce-odds","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/friscotimes.org\/?p=1048","title":{"rendered":"Jennifer Lopez files for divorce from Ben Affleck after just two years. What are your divorce odds?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck are getting a divorce after just over two years of marriage. And yes, it\u2019s d\u00e9j\u00e0 vu as the pop singer and Hollywood stars broke off an engagement over two decades ago before rekindling their romance in 2021 and getting married a year later. \u201cBennifer,\u201d as they are referred to, is the epitome of the modern on-again-off-again-on-again relationship rollercoaster.  <\/p>\n<div>\n<p>\u201cShe tried really hard to make things work, and is heartbroken,\u201d an inside source tells <em><a href=\"https:\/\/people.com\/jennifer-lopez-ben-affleck-divorce-8649120\" target=\"_blank\" aria-label=\"Go to https:\/\/people.com\/jennifer-lopez-ben-affleck-divorce-8649120\" rel=\"noopener\" class=\"sc-93594058-0 hoNHBb\">People<\/a><\/em> regarding Lopez, who filed for divorce in Los Angeles this week.  <\/p>\n<p>Most of us are far too familiar with the grim statistics around how many marriages end in divorce, and there are numerous reasons why couples split. Per\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/pmc\/articles\/PMC4012696\/\" target=\"_blank\" aria-label=\"Go to https:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/pmc\/articles\/PMC4012696\/\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" class=\"sc-93594058-0 hoNHBb\">one study,<\/a>\u00a0the most common causes for divorce are lack of commitment, infidelity, conflict, and arguing, as well as financial problems.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s been reported that Lopez and Affleck\u2019s relationship has been\u00a0on the rocks for some time. And unfortunately, the allure of the comeback story that sparked celebrity-obsessed hopeless romantics can now make us all question what makes a successful relationship for the long haul. <\/p>\n<p>So, how common is divorce in various stages of marriage?\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>0-5 years of marriage<\/strong><br \/>Early days of marriage seem to be a high-risk time. One study found that about\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.telegraph.co.uk\/news\/uknews\/2961316\/Divorce-risk-highest-within-the-first-two-years-of-marriage.html\" target=\"_blank\" aria-label=\"Go to https:\/\/www.telegraph.co.uk\/news\/uknews\/2961316\/Divorce-risk-highest-within-the-first-two-years-of-marriage.html\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" class=\"sc-93594058-0 hoNHBb\">10%<\/a>\u00a0of marriages fail in the first two years, in part due to the increased likelihood of infidelity during the beginning of marriage and also unmet expectations following the honeymoon phase. An\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.cdc.gov\/nchs\/pressroom\/02news\/div_mar_cohab.htm\" target=\"_blank\" aria-label=\"Go to https:\/\/www.cdc.gov\/nchs\/pressroom\/02news\/div_mar_cohab.htm\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" class=\"sc-93594058-0 hoNHBb\">older study<\/a>\u00a0from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) found that the probability of marriages ending within the first five years is 20%.\u00a0<\/li>\n<li><strong>6-10 years of marriage\u00a0<\/strong><br \/>Research shows that the average length of a first marriage is about eight years, lending some  weight to the concept of the \u201cseven-year itch,\u201d which refers to a decline in marital happiness after around seven years.<\/li>\n<li><strong>11-20 years of marriage\u00a0<\/strong><br \/>Some couples who have children may fare better after those high-risk early years, in part due to trying to \u201ckeep the family unit together when the kids are still in the house,\u201d says Barbie Adler, founder and president of Selective Search Matchmaking. However, once children leave home, divorce risk increases again at around 15 to 20 years of marriage.\u00a0<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Age also factors in: In the\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/ourworldindata.org\/marriages-and-divorces\" target=\"_blank\" aria-label=\"Go to https:\/\/ourworldindata.org\/marriages-and-divorces\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" class=\"sc-93594058-0 hoNHBb\">U.S<\/a>., the median age for divorce is between 28 and 30. Roughly 43% of people between ages 55 and 64 have been divorced, according to the\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.census.gov\/newsroom\/press-releases\/2021\/marriages-and-divorces.html\" target=\"_blank\" aria-label=\"Go to https:\/\/www.census.gov\/newsroom\/press-releases\/2021\/marriages-and-divorces.html\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" class=\"sc-93594058-0 hoNHBb\">U.S. Census<\/a>\u00a0data from 2016.\u00a0Divorce rates for those 50 and over, the so-called \u201cgray divorce,\u201d has roughly doubled from 1990 to 2015, according to a<a href=\"https:\/\/www.pewresearch.org\/fact-tank\/2017\/03\/09\/led-by-baby-boomers-divorce-rates-climb-for-americas-50-population\/\" target=\"_blank\" aria-label=\"Go to https:\/\/www.pewresearch.org\/fact-tank\/2017\/03\/09\/led-by-baby-boomers-divorce-rates-climb-for-americas-50-population\/\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" class=\"sc-93594058-0 hoNHBb\">\u00a0Pew survey<\/a>. \u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Given the odds, how can your marriage make it for the long haul, and should you get back together with an ex?<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Is rekindling a romance a good idea?<\/h2>\n<p>\u201cThere was a reason that you are each other\u2019s EXs,\u201d says Sara Nasserzadeh, PhD, couples therapist and author of\u00a0<em>Love by Design: 6 ingredients to build a lifetime of love<\/em>. <\/p>\n<p>However, Nasserzadeh says people evolve and change, and there\u2019s a chance timing may heal the wounds. Communication is key, though. <\/p>\n<p>\u201cWe often forget why things did not work. The quirks, pet peeves, and sensitivities are the first place to start. Are they still there?\u201d she says. \u201cDo you still feel the same way about them? What was the reason or reasons that you separated last time that you were together. What are the pulls and pushes this time? Are you getting back together to experience something together (unfinished emotional business, etc.) or to build something with one another?\u201d <\/p>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Do you have these 6 pillars? <\/h2>\n<p>Nasserzadeh tells <em>Fortune<\/em> there are six ingredients to making successful couples per her research. <\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>A shared vision<\/li>\n<li>Mutual attraction<\/li>\n<li>Respect<\/li>\n<li>Compassion<\/li>\n<li>Being loving and trust<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>\u201cThese are non-negotiables, and we might need more or less of these ingredients in different phases of a couple\u2019s life, but they need to be present at all times for a loving relationship to thrive,\u201d says Nasserzadeh. <\/p>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Be \u2018co-CEOs\u2019\u00a0<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>Everyone evolves, and the key to a successful marriage is being able to evolve together. A large part of that is being each other\u2019s fans, Adler says. Consider gassing each other up from time to time. Genuine compliments go a long way. This also means valuing your partner\u2019s interests, needs and feelings, and articulating your own. It doesn\u2019t mean everything needs to be equal, like perfectly splitting the house duties with personal hobbies.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt\u2019s not tit for tat. It\u2019s more, we\u2019re taking care of each other and lifting each other up, or we\u2019re carrying each other over our shoulders through the hard times,\u201d Adler says.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Remember that your partner is not just a \u201cmirror\u201d of you, but rather a compliment to you. Your relationship is a team.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s like you\u2019re \u201cco-CEOs,\u201d Adler says. \u201cYou know your worth but you just merged with another company, and you want to make it work \u2026 What are you going to do to make it thrive?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Articulate your needs\u00a0<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>We all know that when we hold in our anger or frustration with someone\u2019s behavior, it only begins to fester and can lead to resentment. So, let\u2019s stop playing games and living in the past. Be an active participant in your relationships, experts say. Take the lead and tell your partner what you need from them. It\u2019s a compliment to the relationship when a person feels comfortable enough to share a potential way it can be strengthened.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>First, ask yourself:\u00a0<em>Why am I so bothered? What do I need to not feel this way?\u00a0<\/em>Take a look inward at your own background and relationship history so you can come to the conversation with\u00a0self-awareness, something renowned psychotherapist Esther Perel emphasizes in her MasterClass on relational intelligence. Come from a place of kindness and say that you\u2019ve been thinking about how you haven\u2019t shared something you need.\u00a0<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Expect challenges<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>Some of Adler\u2019s clients experience relational difficulties when faced with something unexpected. Enjoying your partner in the \u201cbest of times\u201d doesn\u2019t cut it when life inevitably throws curveballs, which will happen no matter who you end up with, Adler says. It\u2019s not all rainbows and butterflies; we all know that. Instead of expecting everything to go as planned, see challenges as a way to grow together.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOnce you get married and you find your person, that\u2019s when the work begins, and you know who you are going to invest the time in,\u201d she says.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>In harder times, it\u2019s important to think about listening and leaning into your partner\u2019s needs versus only trying to get your perspective across. \u201cWhat helps me feel heard, seen and validated in our relationship so I can provide the same for my partner?\u201d says Jeanie Chang, a licensed family and marraige therapist. \u201cHow can I first validate what they\u2019re experiencing \/ feeling and not focus on providing solutions which can come later?\u00a0 What can I do to show that I\u2019m listening to understand, not listening to respond?\u00a0<\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\" \/><\/blockquote>\n<p>While marriages are two way streets, there may be times where you have to give more for a while, lift them up, or even give them tough love, Adler says. You may never know when your time will come and you\u2019ll be the person who needs the extra support.\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div data-cy=\"subscriptionPlea\">Sign up for the\u00a0<em>Fortune Features<\/em> email list so you don\u2019t miss our biggest features, exclusive interviews, and investigations.<\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck are getting a divorce after just over two years of marriage. And yes, it\u2019s d\u00e9j\u00e0 vu as the pop singer and Hollywood stars broke off&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":213,"featured_media":1049,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[6],"tags":[1725,1724,1067,1723,1721,1722,1726,1453],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Jennifer Lopez files for divorce from Ben Affleck after just two years. 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